I was sitting on my couch when the lights dimmed and my TV exploded. I mean, it really exploded. That doesn’t really happen. New TV’s don’t have anything in them that could explode, but that’s what happened while I was watching Captain America.
“You, James Cordrey, are my arch nemesis!”
That’s right. Steve Rogers jumped out of my exploded TV and called me his Arch Nemesis. Me, James, the guy who sits at home and watches TV instead of going out and causing crime. I somehow managed to piss off a fictional character so much that he leapt out of my TV and shouted at me.
Whatever, though. You know what? I wasn’t gonna let some two dimensional crying bitch blow my TV up and tell me what was going down. So I hopped up off my couch and grabbed the nearest lamp.
“You fell right into my trap Steve Rogers. You crafty son of a gun, I thought you were going to avoid it, but you walked right into it with your wide eyed gullible sense of justice. You fool!”
He was off guard now, standing in my rubble-strewn living room with his armored suit and big shield glinting in the tiny fires that somehow weren’t spreading. I think we can blame that on movie magic.
“Uh, well, this is embarrassing. I wasn’t expecting to walk into a trap,” he said, looking around the living room with an awkward kind of shrug.
“Yeah, well, luckily for you I’m a forgiving guy. How’s a game of chess sound?”
He seemed to struggle with the idea of shoving his shield down my throat or taking me up on my offer. I was nervous, but I held my lamp in front of me like a sword, even though it was just a normal lamp.
Finally, he nodded, and wandered over to the table where a chess board was conveniently set up. He took black, and I thought that was rather nice of him, letting me go first.