We are gathered here today to celebrate the decision of two of our loved ones.
Leif, Meegan… you’ve taken the first step into a larger world. But it is dangerous to go alone, so please take this.
[At this point I placed their left hands together.]
The decision to take a relationship to the next level is easy to make, but hard to complete. Underwater levels are always difficult, but I know that you two will always be there for each other, to offer support, help, and to keep your heads above water. Even when Boss Bass comes knocking at your door.
While we all hope that your days together are as electrifying as Pikachu when Ash is in trouble, we also hope that your nights together are as blissful as the sleep of those who hear the song of Jiggly Puff.
Through your new adventures together, your love should gro strong and true like the Dhovakin. Fiercely loyal to each other, I know you will be able to overcome any obstacle in your path. These will not be easy, however, as some lessons are painful to learn. Remember to be each other’s Aku Aku: Protect and guide your beloved Bandicoot through the years to come.
Player One, I understand you have been toiling in the fires of Mount Doom, in the heart of Mordor. Please take your Ring of Power, place it on Player 2’s left hand, and repeat after me:
Meegan: “With this ring, I thee Wed.”
Player Two, it is my understanding that you’ve traveled the countryside, and fought the evil Dr. Robotnik in order to obtain a Power Ring. Please place it on Player 1’s left hand, and repeat after me:
Leif: “With this ring, I thee Wed.”
Your vows to each other are simple: To love each other the way Goku loves a good meal. To be there for one another, like Peter Parker and Mary Jane. To hold on to hope, even when Titans are attacking.
Leif, do you so swear?
Leif: “I so swear.”
Meegan, do you so swear?
Meegan: “I so swear.”
I now pronounce you husband and wife. Leif, you may kiss your bride.
It is my pleasure to be the first to introduce everyone here to Mr. and Mrs. Meegan Pettersen!